Megan Alexandre

Am I Back?

March 16, 2021 / Life Stuff / Comments Off

It’s insane to think I’m yet again back at this blog writing thing, probably because I was just charged >$350 for my domain name. And I’m too lazy to figure out how to cancel the domain name.

Maybe not lazy, but just not interested, enough, to go through the hassle.

Plus, interestingly enough, its been ~1 year since my last post. Its been one year since the world seemed to come crashing down around us. I can still remember checking in to my hotel for a week at the client site, ready to take on the long hours, free nights, and free treadmill. And upon check-in was told I may have to leave because EY was pulling everyone home. Personally, I felt it a gross overreaction and massive infringement on my service level to my client. But hey, wasn’t my decision.

I was convinced this was going to be a couple weeks. Convinced I’d be back to work in no time. Convinced my nail appointment in mid March was nowhere near the last for MONTHS on end. Convinced my hair appointment was nowhere near the last for MONTHS on end. I mean, come on, this is ridiculous. I thought.

But globally the numbers kept rising. COVID numbers. Unemployment numbers. Blood pressure numbers. As a family we were starting to wonder how long this could go on, and what about life in general? The husband was furloughed. The toddler was now home full time. I was now home full time. It felt impossible to be living this situation.

I will say we were blessed. We have wonderful friends in Brooklyn who essentially took us in for months on end because they have a 10×10 backyard. Enough for RJ to run around in circles and blow off some steam. Enough for me to sit outside with the laptop and not go completely stir crazy. And, I will say, the diverse adult conversation most assuredly saved my marriage. (I’m kidding, or am I?) And having an extended family setup allowed the husband to have a purpose besides keeping RJ alive. He had to cook dinner, every, single, night. And every, single, person, was excited about dinner. Every. Single. Night.

Like so many others, this past year has been a haze. We woke up yesterday ‘springing forward,’ and I couldn’t help to think, to what? I’m not afraid of the future, c’est la vie. Whatever happens, will happen. But I sure as hell am proud of what is going on in the world. I’m not evening talking vaccines. I’m talking about people taking a step back to see the forest for the trees. People, myself included, realizing that everything we’ve been taking for granted for so long can be ripped out from under us in the blink of an eye. I believe innately we all knew this fact, but I can’t help but feel the rude awakening from the past year.

A lot can change in 365 short days. And truthfully, I think its inevitable that we’ve all grown in one way or another. For the better. Even if we haven’t quite figured out how, yet.

So – here’s to another round of my figuring out a blog. It’ll most assuredly be messy, and probably random, and full of rants. And probably some terrible iphone photos since I just cant be bothered dealing with tripods and all the rest of it. Maybe people will read, maybe they wont. But hopefully one day #richardjoseph will at least be able to “hear” my voice through my words.

Here’s to another year, whatever it may bring. And seriously, f*ck you COVID, and thank you COVID. You’re like a bad breakup. A really, terrible, no good, very awful, breakup. Now please, leave us alone.

Working from Home & Quarantined

April 1, 2020 / Mama stuff, Tips & Tricks / Comments Off

5 tips I’ve picked up along the way… so far

Are you home? Of course you are. Are you one of the lucky ones who is still working, while trying to juggle ‘other people’ during your workday? Probably. ( I say lucky because so many people are not working and not getting paid right now.)

When I first thought about doing this post I was going to tailor it more towards moms, but truthfully, I think anyone can benefit.

First, you know the cliche saying, “You can’t drink from an empty cup?” Its true. I wish I could say I’ve been eating well, meditating, running, and feel like a million bucks. That’d be a lie. But who the hell else is doing all of that? And furthermore, do these people do this when they’re not quarantining? (Also, I don’t think that’s a real word.)

I will say, tip #1 – set an alarm and get your butt out of bed and do something for yourself. I’m no doctor, but even if it’s 10 minutes without someone large or small calling your name, with a tizzy in hand, or a coffee, or simply to stare at the ceiling sans interruption, it’s a great way to start the day. You can run through your to do list of the day, or even write it down. Or brush you damn teeth in peace. Or just enjoy the silence before the storm.

Tip #2 – create a schedule. Delineate between PERSONAL time & WORK time. And stick to it, hard. I mean like you just got the last nail appointment before the apocalypse hit and you knew you’d be stranded for weeks. (True story)

* Yes, sometimes things come up. Those are exceptions to the rule, not the rule *

Normally, when commuting into the office in NYC my day goes a little something like this :

5:30 Up / Shower / Get Dressed / Makeup / Journal
7:30 Walk to subway / Call a friend / Commute / Read (I really want to say 7:00, but that never happens)
8:30 In the office
6:00 Leave the office
7:00 Home & Family Stuff
9:30 / 10:00 Turn into a Pumpkin AKA go to bed

So what about on quarantine?

6:30 Up / Tizzy / Talk to RJ / Journal / Read / Talk to Family
8:00 / 8:30 Work
6:00 Done Working / Family Time / Try & get RJ to bed at a reasonable time
9:30 / 10:00 Turn into a Pumpkin AKA go to bed

I am not 100% this is a truthful stat. But it is funny.

Why is this so important? Because if you’re intentional with where you will spend your day, you’ll be more productive. That’s not to say you can’t schedule laundry, walks, jumping jacks, lunch, snack time, even nap time. But if you don’t, you’ll end up most likely on back to back calls, not doing actual work, and stressed about family time. Plus, multi-tasking doesn’t work. (I’m always devastated when I realize this time and time again.)

Tip #3 – if you have tiny people, and your situation allows, separate Mom & Business time. The main reason refers to Tip #2. If we try and multi-task in both roles, we will not feel productive in either. That tends to lead to feelings of less than, unproductive, anxiety…etc…etc…etc… This also goes for individual & wife/gf/friend/daughter time.

Tip #4 – plan to get up out of your seat. No seriously. The main reason I’m posting this today is because I’ve barely moved. Its 6:22 pm and I’ve done 3839 steps. I have a shit ton of steps before Pumpkin time. And if I’m in this situation, I know many others are, too. Why did this happen? I didn’t plan it last night in my schedule.

Tip #5 – ask for help if you need it. Out of this shitty situation came my husband becoming a stay-at-home Papa. (He’s French, they don’t do Daddy. They do Papa. An argument I lost around the 1st trimester) Truthfully, he’s been a huge help. Prior to this quarantine I always hesitated to ask for help. Nothing he did, more me feeling inadequate if I couldn’t do it all.

We can’t do it all. There are only 24 hours in a day. And I’ve quickly learned over the last two weeks that getting help is (a) ok and (b) makes you feel so.much.better. Please don’t try and do it all. You’ll run yourself ragged, and at this point you may already be struggling to shower and put on a bra on the daily. Let’s not make matters worse.

I hope these helped a little bit. And if they haven’t helped your productivity, I certainly hope you were at least able to chuckle a little. My dad used to always say,

As long as you keep laughing, it will all be ok.

Stay Safe, Stay Healthy.

I Know How She Does It

March 31, 2020 / Books, Tips & Tricks / Comments Off

I Know How She Does It by Laura Vanderkam

I set a goal for myself to read one book every month in 2020. I just finished this one for the month of March, and decided well, if I’m really going to take this blogging this back up, might as well share a good book.

Here is what I loved.

Statistics – you can’t deny the #s. Yes, of course, the story that #s tell can be changed to fit someone’s story, but I love the story.
Optimism – so many people are ‘too busy’ to do this, that, and the other. Ever picked up the phone and called a friend, asking how she is, and the answer is – “Ugh I’m soooooo busy.” Which really says nothing.
She spits in the face of the people who say they just don’t have the time for this, that, and the other.
It forced me to reflect, and to also create a time log. (Like I’m really supposed to be doing my day job right now, and I will have to admit that in my log I was not)
Tangible suggestions. Things that I can put to use immediately. Such as, when you create your to do list, break it into (3) parts : Work, Leisure, Self.
The breakout of the book is organized, and can be put down and picked back up at any point during the day.

To anyone out there reading this blog post. This is what I’d like to share with you.

First, we all have the same amount of time in a day / week. 24 / 168. We all get to choose how we spend that time of ours. During this Covid-19 pandemic we are all home, either working, or sadly, unemployed. Yes, people have families. Yes, people have responsibilities. But if we just take a little time to THINK about our TIME, we will understand that TIME is the most VALUABLE commodity there is in life. We can’t get it back.

When we take a few moments to plan our day, it doesn’t get away from us. (Like mine technically is right now, woops) One thing I learned, which I never would have thought to do, was :

Plan your leisure time. Put as much weight and focus on this time as you would your work day schedule.

At first I thought, what?! Is this lady nuts? But once I started blocking out chunks of time in my day for ‘leisure,’ my mental state shifted. This so called leisure could be a 10 min. meditation at 2pm. Or intentionally going to give a kiss to your loved ones. Or a 20 min. nap. Or crossing off 6-9:30 pm in your work calendar to ensure you focus on family time. And when you set those intentions, and verbalize them to the world, you will seriously stick to the plan (95% of the time).

I decided to give it a try myself, and created the world’s most basic template. Download it and give it a try. All you have to do is track your time in 30 min. increments. Mine is color coded : Personal time is green, Work time is blue, Sleep is black.

At random points throughout the week I’ll stop and tally up the numbers. How much work / how much personal / how much sleep. It’s been a great way to see where I REALLY spend my time.

Time-Log-Template Download

Ms. Vanderkam made a point early on that really stuck with me –

… if you’re trying to work a certain number of hours, working five hours on the weekend translates to an hour less you need to work every weekday. If you have a hard stop on your weekdays, this can be the difference between working enough to make it feel like your career is moving forward, and feeling like it just can’t work.

I can’t say I’m perfect at this time log activity, or planning my day (clearly). But I can say that I am getting better, and seeing trends, both for myself and my family.

I am seeing where my husband and I are failing at planning, so planning to fail, when it comes to RJ’s routines. I am seeing where I waste my time, and where I don’t. I am learning that no matter what, RJ IS going to wake up at 6:45 / 7:00 and so if I want any time to read and journal, I will just have to get up earlier. Period. I am seeing how and where I can squeeze in some activity, even if its walking in circles on a conference call.

But the most important lesson learned – as a mother, who works full time, loves her family & friends, and also values her ‘me’ time – I can have it all, if I plan AND stop feeling guilty when I do take the time for me.

Coffee break. Intentionally set during the work day.

COVID-19

March 30, 2020 / Lifestyle, Tips & Tricks / Comments Off

Work From Home Week 2

It’s hard to believe we’ve been “at this” for a few weeks now. “This” is COVID-19, more affectionately known as The Coronavirus. The world has been in an upheaval since earlier this year when its ugly head reared in China. As of today, thousands upon thousands have been affected, and died.

I’m sure anyone bored enough to read my ‘back up & running’ blog are wondering the same things I am.

How much longer?

Can I remain sane being locked in my house?

Did I always love trips to the supermarket this much?

How do I keep my family safe?

Am I going to continue eating my way through this time, and only be able to fit into my spandex pants?

How will my child (or children for some of you) come out of this? Will he/she be scarred for life? How much of an impact will it have on his/her generation?

And. So. Much. More.

To date, we have been living between our apartment, and our friends’ home. Why are we doing this? Lets see.

(1) There is a backyard. It may not be the worlds’ biggest backyard, but there is a backyard. We can all be seen running around in circles, listening to music (normally Euro dance), laughing, and screaming. Energy must be expelled, somehow.

(2) There are two additional humans with whom RJ or Adrien can speak. AKA, less talking to me. But on the flip side, there are two additional humans with whom I can speak. These are not easy times and being able to stay connected to people WITH WHOM YOU DO NOT NORMALLY LIVE is critical. Please don’t read into this. Our marriage is just as fine as everyone else’s. Our family unit is just as fine as everyone else’s. But sometimes, you need a break.

(3) Adrien has become the stay at home Papa. His company furloughed him about two weeks ago. He really needs the space to run around with RJ, and to be alone when I’m back on duty.

(4) Family values. Eating together for meals. Reading together at bedtime. Having an uncle read to RJ during the day. OR play with him. OR talk to him. OR sing with him. We all need those interactions, including RJ’s uncles who own the home. They too need a break from each other.

Our family unit has never been the ‘typical.’ RJ has many, many, many aunts and uncles all over the world. But this new living arrangement is allowing his parents some additional space to breathe in this scary time.

I know not everyone reading this can just hop over and stay with friends, merging two families into one, even if temporarily.

But I implore you, please find a way to interact with others and love on each other. I’ve never, ever, ever, been the peace & love kind of lady. I’ve always been described more as The Ice Queen. There I said it. And I could write an entire post about how that’s not entirely true.

Here is what IS true –

We all need to take a big deep breath and look around at reality. People are getting really sick. But not just with the virus. Being lonely. Being bored. Anxious. Sad. Angry. Overwhelmed.
We need to focus on the shit we can control. Like what goes in our mouth. Or what comes out of it.
We need to think about others, not just ourselves and our immediate families.
Counting our blessings goes a heck of a lot further than bitching about our issues. Everybody has them right now. Everybody has ALWAYS had issues.

I believe we as humans have the ability to come out of this with some grace. A lot of grace actually. And a lot of lessons learned.

Until then, I think I’ll keep opining over here, while juggling the same shit everybody else is juggling.

Stay Strong, Stay Healthy. Remember, this shit won’t take us down.

Xo.

Why did I start a 3rd blog?

November 30, 2018 / Mama stuff / Comments Off

So here’s the honest truth, I love learning new things and then talking about it. The 1st blog was supposed to be about me, and it was, and it flopped (it also didn’t receive the dedication it deserved). The 2nd blog was about traveling in Paris & NYC, in English and French, and my girlfriend and I just didn’t keep it up.

Image result for learning
This blog, well, it’s intended to share things I’m learning, to help you in any way I can. Yes, I need to be more diligent. Yes, I need to realize that nobody thinks I’m a guru, so I don’t need to worry what others think. Yes, I can add tid bits and not overthink it, while knowing my high school History teacher, Mrs. Vannozzi, isn’t going to read it and give me a D+.

Here’s something else I’ve learned, I need a niche. That’s what makes a great blog, right? Well sh*t. I know a little bit about a lot. And always read a lot about a lot. And I talk, a lot.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, shoes and outdoor

So here’s my promise to you – right now it may seem all over the place as I get my hands dirty and try to
figure out what I’m doing, and how I’m doing it.

Sooner rather than later you’ll be getting streamlined information and opinions. Sound good?

Here’s my ask of you – if I write about something you really love, want to hear more of, or really despise,
can you tell me?

Stickk – Goal Setting Accountability

October 18, 2018 / Lifestyle, Mama stuff, Tips & Tricks / Comments Off

Ever set a goal you didnt achieve? Dont lie. I’m sure there are equal number of NYE resolutions to years you’ve lived. We’ve all been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. I know I have and I am more than happy to admit it.

We only grow by acknowledging our mistakes/life lessons and growing from them and learning the lessons. If you’re still adamant you have never failed at any goal you set, please take your hand, put it on your computer mouse, move towards the top right corner of the screen, and ‘x’ out this page. We are done here.

For those of you living on planet Earth with me, lets move forward.

Did you notice my husband hasn’t actually responded to be my referee? I doubt he even opened the email

My goals are always related to one of the following –

Exercise
Weight/Weight Loss
Financial
Work
Business

Which is what bring me to the homerun of goal setting accountability – Stickk.com

I recently learned about this app and decided I had to give it a try. Accountability is key to keeping on track with your goals. Its almost like, if a tree falls over in the woods and nobody hears it, did it happen? Or as my father always asked, “Do bears sh*t in the woods? Have you ever seen one do it?” (You’d have to have known him to see his humor)

With Stickk you create an account. Input your goal. Decide the length of your goal. And then, le pièce de résistance, you decide how the app is going to hold you accountable. On your honor? (So back to the bear in the woods bit) Or financially? You can set a certain amount that Stickk will take out of your bank account if you dont hit the goal. It can go to your anti-charity. AKA, dont hit the goal – donate to your least favorite charity available in their dropdown of options.

You also have the option to request a Referee. I requested my husband. If you look closely, you’ll notice he hasn’t responded yet – not for lack of my trying. Hopefully soon because there is a point to a referee… they’re here to keep you honest. Get one. And get one who answers/reads their emails 😉

Both of my starter goals run over a 26 week period. So, if I miss hitting a goal one week, I owe $20 to my anti-charity.

We know goals have to be SMART – otherwise, they’re pipe dreams. If I want to lose one pound a week, over the next 26 weeks, I have t Image result for goal setting o eat properly, according to a lifestyle change (more later on that). I also need to exercise. I set a goal of (4) days of exercise per week. If I dont achieve either or both, each week, $40 go to my anti-charity.

So far I’ve made it a week. My coach suggested this to me last Monday, and challenged me to download the app and setup 2 goals the same day.

So today, I challenge you to do the same.

download the app
setup 2 goals

Dont wait for the “right” time. There isnt one. Dont wait for some “other” sign that its time to get your sh*t together. Instead of waiting for NYE, or the next full moon, or the next time you’ve made a full rotation around the sun – just do it. Use me as your not so suttle nudge to just get. it. together. I mean this with love and kindness – get. it. together. For you to achieve a goal, your mind has to believe it is moving from a place of pain to a place of pleasure. (There is science behind this, I swear I’m not making this up) So, if you choose your anti-charity, the pleasure is work towards the goal or the pain of donating to your least favorite charity is the outcome.

I’m not perfect, nor am I pretending to be. But here is the thing, nobody is. Maybe I’ll end up donating a few times during the 26 weeks. Hopefully not. Because my hatred for this charity far outweighs my desire to skip a day of working out or eat like a garbage disposal.

If you sign up, let me know! I’d love to hear how Stickk is working

Xo,

Megan

Yoga – does a body good

October 16, 2018 / Exercise, Lifestyle / Comments Off

Image may contain: 1 person, sitting and indoor Let me start out by saying “thank you” to a dear friend, Brandon. I recently spoke with him as he continues on his path of being a traveling artist, and he asked, “So Morrill, whats the deal with that blog?” I embarrassingly had to admit I hadn’t written anything and never seemed to “find the time.”

Sound familiar?

Recently, over the last month, I’ve started regularly attending yoga classes at a studio near my apartment. It is a 12 minute walk, if I’m crawling. I began going for the #1 reason of getting in some exercise and moving my body. My day job is not an 8 hour a day job (I wish!). I work from home 3x a week. On the days I work from home, I’m lucky if I walk around the block. I know, I know. Lazy. Get up. Do more. Experts say to move your body once an hour. What about my cardiovascular health? I get it.

But something always got in the way. Not least of which, motivation. I hate working out, I would tell myself. I hate sweating, that little voice in my head would chatter. You already showered today, Megan, do you really want to have to do it again? You don’t have cute yoga clothes. You aren’t a ‘yogi’ and have no idea what you’re doing. The list goes on and on. You can relate, right? How many times does the little voice in the back of your head tell you – you ignoramus you really can’t be thinking about this again.

In comes The Yes Studio in Bushwick. I found it during a random Google search and decided to check it out. They have a 2 week intro for $20; unlimited classes. So I signed up. My first class had me AS NERVOUS as when I went to take the SATs. Will everyone be skinny and fit? (Yes) Will everyone be judging my post-baby jiggle? (No) Will I spend all of class thinking everyone is judging me? (Actually, nope) The benefits of this studio could go on and on.

Before I talk about the overall benefits I’ve found in (4) weeks of yoga, let me paint you a picture of me pre-yoga classes. First, I associated yoga with “zen” and my inner “chi” and pretty much wrote it off as a bunch of bullsh*t. Literally. Secondly, I figured there was literally no way on this earth that I would be able to touch my toes, so clearly it’s not for me. Thirdly, if I want to sweat, which I don’t really want to do, I’ll run. Why do I need all these Lulu Lemon wearing moms judging me? (This was even before RJ) Also, I hate the smell of patchouli. It reminds me of my university days at the University of Vermont where 98% of the campus had that smell. And approximately the same percentage of students smelled that way. Heck no. To this day, if I smell patchouli, I run, not walk the other way. It’s possibly the only negative I have to say about UVM.

But I’m here to give a couple benefits, in my humble opinion, from yoga.

The sweat is real. This isn’t a cardio workout where you’re running/bicycling/whatever-ing and sweat is dripping off you. You are doing specific movements, with cues about moving your hips, shoulders down, breathing a specific way, returning to your breath. And sweat is dripping off you.
Mind clearing. From the minute the instructor starts talking my To Do list vanishes. It requires insane concentration to breathe in & out on their cues. They time everything. Certain movements are to be done on the inhale, others on the exhale. It is virtually impossible for me to think about Richard’s diaper supply, or dinner, or that pivot table I may have screwed up, or our bank account, or our debt and breathe in and out, and follow cues. I M P O S S I B L E. If you had a stressful day/week/month/life, take a class. Suddenly its all put into perspective. Now I’m not going down the inner chi rabbit hole. I’m simply stating that by taking an hour out of your life to focus purely on your breath and movement, clarity on certain above mentioned problems finds its way to the forefront.
Friend making. I’ve been lucky enough to meet a bunch of really great gals and guys in these classes. Truth – I’ll talk to a wall if it will answer. But that’s not the point. Getting out, talking to people, raising your heartbeat and generally being present are all beneficial.
Better sleep. For 4 weeks now, the night of a class, I sleep better than the baby. Just ask my husband. That baby can wake up crying anytime between 10 & 6 and the odds are, I won’t hear. (Have no fear people, I’m also fully aware Adrien will hear)
“Me” Time. I don’t care if you’re a woman, man, either, neither, mom, dad, fur-parent. If you are a human you need “me” time. A moment (or 60) when the world isn’t pulling at you. No cell phones. No work. No deadlines. No requirements. No worries. No anxiety. Trust me when I say the apocalypse won’t hit. Trust me when I say <insert loved one/boss here> won’t die. Trust me when I say <insert problem> won’t get worse, go away, or change in any way. Trust me when I say – your mind health, emotional health, physical health will all improve.

Now look, all of the above are the benefits of any kind of exercise in a group. We all know exercise is paramount to success in so many areas of our lives – all areas. Relationships (romantic & not). Work. Family life. Finances. This is so true and what I kept telling myself when I first started running and what I kept telling myself when I get down on how slow I still am.

I am far from being a ‘yogi’ and even further from becoming a yoga instructor. But I will go on record that this Jersey girl, who still rocks her acrylic nails and Amazon.com purchased workout clothes loves yoga. If you live in NYC and want to come with me to a class – send me an email or IG message or fill out the form below. I’m here and as I’ve said – I’ll talk to a wall, so an actual human coming to a class with me is a huge bonus.

Xo,

Megan

Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

May 10, 2018 / Books / Comments Off

Ok friends, if you actually know me, you know I’m obsessed with finances. Not in the Scrooge type way where I dive into pools of money on the daily (but I would!), but more in the “I need to educate myself, my husband, and everyone else in the universe” type of way.

Years ago, before my dad passed, he said I needed to read Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. Obviously I thought he was full of sh*t and obviously I didn’t read it. Why would I do something my dad told me to do? Duh.

Well, I’m reading it. And I’m writing this post before I’ve even completed the book. Go. Buy. A. Copy. Today. I don’t care if you like to read, get the audible version. I don’t care if you think you have your finances on lock down. The odds are quite good you believe the following :

– Your house is an asset

– Saving is the best way to ensure retirement success

– You know everything you need to know

– You know the difference between an asset and a liability and how they function

I am going to go out on a limb and say you’re wrong. Sorry. The only reason I’m willing to say this is because I was wrong. The book offers insightful information that is NECESSARY in today’s economy and lifestyle – and forever. We are all taught to go to school, get a job, rot in your job, retire at 65% of your salary, be grateful you can retire and rot with 65%. Personally, that’s never been a dream of mine; I just didn’t know where to get the information to avoid said rocking chair rotting.

Most of the older generations are struggling to make ends meet and feed themselves. I am going to guess each person reading this knows someone at retirement age who either can’t retire, or has and is suffering, or has retired and is being supported by their offspring/family. Thanks anyway, but I don’t want to go down that path.

Honestly, if your family is struggling financially, read this book. If you’re not struggling financially, read this book. For the longest time I felt like I needed to get my MBA to feel like my brain wasn’t oozing out of my skull during the workday. This book teaches how to be financially intelligent – with not just what to do, but how to do it, as long as you’re willing to do it.

I am by no means a CFA or a CPA or an expert of anykind. I am, however, a woman who runs a household, raising a tiny human, trying to stop the cycle of impoverished senior citizens in the US. I can’t change anyone, but I can change myself and teach my family how to be financially apt. Wouldn’t you change to ensure your legacy is filled with abundance, as opposed to a worn out rocking chair or even less than that?

Traveling with a baby

April 24, 2018 / Tips & Tricks / Comments Off

This past week Richard and I flew to Vegas for my side hustle’s Global Training Conference. From NYC that is about 5 hours on a plane, with a baby. As a non parent I’ve taken many a trips and always over-packed and always felt like I was taking everything but the kitchen sink. This time I was a bit concerned that if I were to over-pack, RJ and I would never, ever, ever get there in one piece… or better yet, I would get there and be bald from pulling out my hair.

I used a couple of my Mama FB groups to ask for help/suggestions (Thanks Mamas!) and let me tell you, those ladies helped! It is always incredible to me the community out there available to us if we just look for it, and ask for help. I received a ton of tips, and even more support in the days leading up to our trip.

In an effort to give back, I want to provide a couple of my tips for a smooth flight.

Make sure baby is fed. RJ is a monster when he is hungry. I made sure to feed him before we left for the airport. While it is only 30 minutes (with moderate traffic) from our apartment, I wanted to be sure I didn’t have an angry baby before even arriving.
Use a backpack. I have to give credit to my husband on this one. He insisted I use his backpack as a catch all for all of RJ’s stuff. I hate backpacks. They make me think I’m 10 and back in school. Its a personal schtick, one I realize is silly, but it is what it is. BUT, I will tell you it was a huge help.
Use gallon size Ziplock bags to compartmentalize everything. I realize this seems a bit tedious, but it made digging around and grabbing what I needed seamless. Bottles (already prepped)? Easy. I had 3 in one bag. Protein bars for me? No problem! Extra clothes for RJ if/when he peed out, had an explosive diaper, drooled all over his clothes? No worries. The other major benefit? If said bottles exploded or leaked, they were in one place and the mess was contained. I didn’t have to worry about formula leaking all over the rest of my stuff.
Have a copy of baby’s birth certificate. Since we were flying domestically Jet Blue suggested I have this on hand just in case. So I did. And while it was never necessary, I had it just in case. I put it with my wallet and license for easy grab and go.
Bring extra clothes. A couple of the Mamas suggested this one and honestly I never even thought about this as a necessity. Why would I need to change? What could possibly happen? Oh I don’t know… leaking milk bottles… baby drool… sweat from sitting with baby on my lap the entire time… While I didn’t have the time or necessity to change, I’m sure glad I had the extra clothes. Plus, what if they lose your baggage? What will you wear?
Toys. I didn’t want to be the Mama with the screaming baby from boredom. I don’t know about you, but my baby manages to become bored in .5 seconds. Literally. So we had a couple toys to keep him occupied when he wasn’t smiling and flirting with everyone around him, or sleeping. I’ll admit he spent more time flirting with the lovely ladies on the plane than playing.
Smile. I was so nervous I was going to be “that” mom with the screaming baby. Why was I scared? Because as a non parent I couldn’t stand babies on planes. I immediately saw them and cringed. Literally. Chills up and down my spine thinking, “oh no, I’m never going to get <insert whatever task I felt was necessary to do on a flight> done because this baby is surely going to scream the entire time. I made an effort to be as polite as possible on the flight. I tend to try and be polite no matter what, but I knew if my kid was a screamer a smile would go a long way. Of course the crew have experience with screaming babies. Of course everyone else on the plane cringed when they saw us. But the minute RJ smiled his gummy baby smile, most people softened. Plus, smiling went a long way. RJ was able to meet the pilot (and therefore so was I), and sit in the cockpit after his first flight.
A good book. So I’ll admit I love to read. Its been something I have loved doing for as long as I can remember. But when you have a sleeping baby on your lap, there isn’t much else to do. I recently got into the books on electronics trend. Honestly, I don’t love it, but since I’m going to be taking said electronics with me on the plane, there is no point in schlepping a physical book. It just adds to the weight in your backpack.
Water. This probably goes without saying but some people tend to forget. On an airplane you only have small bottles of water which for this lady just isn’t going to cut it. I purchased two 1L bottles after security. They are a huge help. Wondering why? Besides for drinking purposes? When your infant is on your lap and is being his/her own personal heater, and overheating his/her parent, they come in handy. Take out a cloth diaper, or a cloth something, and pour some water on it. Then put said cloth item on baby’s neck and forehead. He/she will calm down immediately and hopefully go back to sleep. Melting from baby heat? Do the same thing for yourself and take a big swig. This way you don’t have to wait for a crew member to pass by, ask for water, wait for water, then drink/use water.
Grace and Patience. These two I’ve left for last for a reason. Getting on an airplane with a baby is no easy feat. I, for one, was the naive Mama who thought, “eh no biggie. RJ is super easy 95% of the time this will be a breeze,” up until 48 hours before the flight. At that point panic kicked in. While I panicked I did my best to pack lightly, make sure I had all the necessities (whatever I forgot I could purchase anyway), and panicked some more. Then it hit me. I’m not the first, nor will I be the last Mama to travel with a baby. Heck, RJ and I are headed to Paris in a few weeks sans Papa. As long as I do my best to be kind with those around me, those around me will be kind to us. As long as I do my best to speak to Richard in a way where he knows screaming and a temper tantrum are not appropriate, I am teaching him a valuable lesson. As long as I remember that many of the individuals on the security line, in the gate waiting area, and on the plane are probably parents, I will be okay, and may even learn a thing or two. Be patient with yourself. Take each step one at a time. Remember that you aren’t the worst Mama on the planet with your baby in tow. Even if he/she is screaming. Most importantly, remember its okay for them to cry. It is the only way they can tell you something isn’t right. It is also okay for you to cry if you have to in the moment. Sometimes letting it all out enables you take a moment and collect yourself. As a Mama/Parent/Grandparent/Human, flying with a tiny human isn’t easy and people are far more forgiving than you may realize. Breathe girlfriend.

I hope these helped, and even made you chuckle a little. My intention is for you to continue traveling with your tiny human(s). These are life experiences that you and they will cherish for a lifetime. Flying with a tiny human may be stressful in the moment, but people are lovely and are more than willing to help. Heck, I think I had 4-5 people holding RJ while I went to the disgusting bathroom (wth people? Clean up after yourselves! Were you raised in a barn?!). And you never know, you may be on a plane with someone who is terrified to fly, and your tiny human brings some joy to that person and helps him/her forget his/her fear. I know my little RJ helped the woman across the aisle from us, and I am grateful he could do that for her. One day, when he is bigger, I will tell him all about the lovely Nellie across the aisle who was afraid to fly, and by flirting with her he helped her not be so afraid because she was distracted.

Life isn’t always easy people, but sometimes we forget our tiny humans can bring an immense amount of joy to those around us… even when we are on an airplane, crammed with 145 other people… in a metal box… flying at 500 mph.

Love,

Thank You Notes – wtf?

April 23, 2018 / Lifestyle / Comments Off

I grew up with “older” parents. They were married at 37 and had me at 40. (Sorry Mom, don’t be mad at me!) Obviously this age gap has its pros and cons.

A huge pro, in my opinion, was etiquette. I was taught to say “please,” “thank you,” “sir,” “ma’am.” I was taught to smile instead of walking around with resting b*tch face. My parents taught me to write thank you notes… as soon as I was old enough to write. The Morrill family had a rule – all thank you notes must be completed within 7 days of receiving the gift. At the time I thought this was R*I*D*I*C*U*L*O*U*S!!! The gall of these two people… asking me to stop playing with my new toys from Christmas/Birthday/Graduation and sit down and write a thank you note. For what?

My Nana and Gramma Grace (I realize grammatically it is Grandma, but this is how she wanted it spelled) were also sticklers for thank you notes. If something was sent, and a thank you note was not received in 14 days, you can bet they called my parents… which meant I was being scolded. It also meant the next time something was sent, there was an impending promise of not being given said “something” because I wasn’t gracious enough to write a timely thank you note the last time. (Please note: my mother’s favorite phrase was, and still is, “this is not a threat, it is a promise.” So whenever you see me referencing my mom and her promises… it was a threat)

I now appreciate the value of this tradition. Today I make it a point to write a thank you note whenever it is even mildly appropriate. Invite me over for dinner? Odds are you are going to get a thank you note. Invite me to a lunch? You’ll get a thank you note. Offer a gift of some kind? You get a thank you note. I may be one of the few early 30 somethings who has a vast array of stationary. I also have a love for all things monogrammed on my stationary.

Here’s the thing… people LOVE receiving thank you notes. Its a welcomed change from the paper spam and bills we all receive in the mailbox on a daily basis. Its a chance to warm someone’s soul. Thank you notes are an opportunity to really show someone you appreciate the gift/gesture/call/random act of kindness.

I also have a major pet peeve, flimsy *cough* cheap *cough* paper. It gets me every time. Why not take the time to purchase stationary with some bulk to it? I realize this may seem silly, but it is important. My friends and family all know a thank you note/invitation on flimsy paper is going to cause me to have something to say. It doesn’t mean I won’t attend whatever event, or be grateful for the note, but I just have a “thing” about cheap paper. Etsy vendors have BEAUTIFUL options… and by purchasing through Etsy you’re also helping a small business. Perhaps you’re helping a family bring in some extra money to pay bills. Or a student looking to make some extra money to pay for books. Or someone who wants to be more artistic but needs some dull day job to pay the bills. I. LOVE. ETSY. for those reasons and more. I love sitting down to write a thank you note and knowing my paper will not only brighten someone’s day (hopefully) but also help a small business. The gift is in the giving.

Here is a link to the Lady of Etiquette (as I call her), Emily Post. Yes, she is no longer with us, but her family carries on her beloved tradition of providing etiquette for the everyday layperson. – http://emilypost.com/advice/the-importance-of-the-handwritten-thank-you-note/ – I really believe you will enjoy this quick read, and hope it will give you pause the next time you feel the urge to say thank you.

Please carry on this tradition of saying thank you in a handwritten note, it is my call to action for you. Even better, take a photo of your stationary and show me! I would love to see how you’re saying thank you. If you can still write in cursive, extra bonus points… but that is for another post.

Love,