I grew up with “older” parents. They were married at 37 and had me at 40. (Sorry Mom, don’t be mad at me!) Obviously this age gap has its pros and cons.
A huge pro, in my opinion, was etiquette. I was taught to say “please,” “thank you,” “sir,” “ma’am.” I was taught to smile instead of walking around with resting b*tch face. My parents taught me to write thank you notes… as soon as I was old enough to write. The Morrill family had a rule – all thank you notes must be completed within 7 days of receiving the gift. At the time I thought this was R*I*D*I*C*U*L*O*U*S!!! The gall of these two people… asking me to stop playing with my new toys from Christmas/Birthday/Graduation and sit down and write a thank you note. For what?
My Nana and Gramma Grace (I realize grammatically it is Grandma, but this is how she wanted it spelled) were also sticklers for thank you notes. If something was sent, and a thank you note was not received in 14 days, you can bet they called my parents… which meant I was being scolded. It also meant the next time something was sent, there was an impending promise of not being given said “something” because I wasn’t gracious enough to write a timely thank you note the last time. (Please note: my mother’s favorite phrase was, and still is, “this is not a threat, it is a promise.” So whenever you see me referencing my mom and her promises… it was a threat)
I now appreciate the value of this tradition. Today I make it a point to write a thank you note whenever it is even mildly appropriate. Invite me over for dinner? Odds are you are going to get a thank you note. Invite me to a lunch? You’ll get a thank you note. Offer a gift of some kind? You get a thank you note. I may be one of the few early 30 somethings who has a vast array of stationary. I also have a love for all things monogrammed on my stationary.
Here’s the thing… people LOVE receiving thank you notes. Its a welcomed change from the paper spam and bills we all receive in the mailbox on a daily basis. Its a chance to warm someone’s soul. Thank you notes are an opportunity to really show someone you appreciate the gift/gesture/call/random act of kindness.
I also have a major pet peeve, flimsy *cough* cheap *cough* paper. It gets me every time. Why not take the time to purchase stationary with some bulk to it? I realize this may seem silly, but it is important. My friends and family all know a thank you note/invitation on flimsy paper is going to cause me to have something to say. It doesn’t mean I won’t attend whatever event, or be grateful for the note, but I just have a “thing” about cheap paper. Etsy vendors have BEAUTIFUL options… and by purchasing through Etsy you’re also helping a small business. Perhaps you’re helping a family bring in some extra money to pay bills. Or a student looking to make some extra money to pay for books. Or someone who wants to be more artistic but needs some dull day job to pay the bills. I. LOVE. ETSY. for those reasons and more. I love sitting down to write a thank you note and knowing my paper will not only brighten someone’s day (hopefully) but also help a small business. The gift is in the giving.
Here is a link to the Lady of Etiquette (as I call her), Emily Post. Yes, she is no longer with us, but her family carries on her beloved tradition of providing etiquette for the everyday layperson. – http://emilypost.com/advice/the-importance-of-the-handwritten-thank-you-note/ – I really believe you will enjoy this quick read, and hope it will give you pause the next time you feel the urge to say thank you.
Please carry on this tradition of saying thank you in a handwritten note, it is my call to action for you. Even better, take a photo of your stationary and show me! I would love to see how you’re saying thank you. If you can still write in cursive, extra bonus points… but that is for another post.
Love,
M