March 2020 – Megan Alexandre

I Know How She Does It by Laura Vanderkam

I set a goal for myself to read one book every month in 2020. I just finished this one for the month of March, and decided well, if I’m really going to take this blogging this back up, might as well share a good book.

Here is what I loved.

Statistics – you can’t deny the #s. Yes, of course, the story that #s tell can be changed to fit someone’s story, but I love the story.
Optimism – so many people are ‘too busy’ to do this, that, and the other. Ever picked up the phone and called a friend, asking how she is, and the answer is – “Ugh I’m soooooo busy.” Which really says nothing.
She spits in the face of the people who say they just don’t have the time for this, that, and the other.
It forced me to reflect, and to also create a time log. (Like I’m really supposed to be doing my day job right now, and I will have to admit that in my log I was not)
Tangible suggestions. Things that I can put to use immediately. Such as, when you create your to do list, break it into (3) parts : Work, Leisure, Self.
The breakout of the book is organized, and can be put down and picked back up at any point during the day.

To anyone out there reading this blog post. This is what I’d like to share with you.

First, we all have the same amount of time in a day / week. 24 / 168. We all get to choose how we spend that time of ours. During this Covid-19 pandemic we are all home, either working, or sadly, unemployed. Yes, people have families. Yes, people have responsibilities. But if we just take a little time to THINK about our TIME, we will understand that TIME is the most VALUABLE commodity there is in life. We can’t get it back.

When we take a few moments to plan our day, it doesn’t get away from us. (Like mine technically is right now, woops) One thing I learned, which I never would have thought to do, was :

Plan your leisure time. Put as much weight and focus on this time as you would your work day schedule.

At first I thought, what?! Is this lady nuts? But once I started blocking out chunks of time in my day for ‘leisure,’ my mental state shifted. This so called leisure could be a 10 min. meditation at 2pm. Or intentionally going to give a kiss to your loved ones. Or a 20 min. nap. Or crossing off 6-9:30 pm in your work calendar to ensure you focus on family time. And when you set those intentions, and verbalize them to the world, you will seriously stick to the plan (95% of the time).

I decided to give it a try myself, and created the world’s most basic template. Download it and give it a try. All you have to do is track your time in 30 min. increments. Mine is color coded : Personal time is green, Work time is blue, Sleep is black.

At random points throughout the week I’ll stop and tally up the numbers. How much work / how much personal / how much sleep. It’s been a great way to see where I REALLY spend my time.

Time-Log-Template Download

Ms. Vanderkam made a point early on that really stuck with me –

… if you’re trying to work a certain number of hours, working five hours on the weekend translates to an hour less you need to work every weekday. If you have a hard stop on your weekdays, this can be the difference between working enough to make it feel like your career is moving forward, and feeling like it just can’t work.

I can’t say I’m perfect at this time log activity, or planning my day (clearly). But I can say that I am getting better, and seeing trends, both for myself and my family.

I am seeing where my husband and I are failing at planning, so planning to fail, when it comes to RJ’s routines. I am seeing where I waste my time, and where I don’t. I am learning that no matter what, RJ IS going to wake up at 6:45 / 7:00 and so if I want any time to read and journal, I will just have to get up earlier. Period. I am seeing how and where I can squeeze in some activity, even if its walking in circles on a conference call.

But the most important lesson learned – as a mother, who works full time, loves her family & friends, and also values her ‘me’ time – I can have it all, if I plan AND stop feeling guilty when I do take the time for me.

Coffee break. Intentionally set during the work day.

Work From Home Week 2

It’s hard to believe we’ve been “at this” for a few weeks now. “This” is COVID-19, more affectionately known as The Coronavirus. The world has been in an upheaval since earlier this year when its ugly head reared in China. As of today, thousands upon thousands have been affected, and died.

I’m sure anyone bored enough to read my ‘back up & running’ blog are wondering the same things I am.

How much longer?

Can I remain sane being locked in my house?

Did I always love trips to the supermarket this much?

How do I keep my family safe?

Am I going to continue eating my way through this time, and only be able to fit into my spandex pants?

How will my child (or children for some of you) come out of this? Will he/she be scarred for life? How much of an impact will it have on his/her generation?

And. So. Much. More.

To date, we have been living between our apartment, and our friends’ home. Why are we doing this? Lets see.

(1) There is a backyard. It may not be the worlds’ biggest backyard, but there is a backyard. We can all be seen running around in circles, listening to music (normally Euro dance), laughing, and screaming. Energy must be expelled, somehow.

(2) There are two additional humans with whom RJ or Adrien can speak. AKA, less talking to me. But on the flip side, there are two additional humans with whom I can speak. These are not easy times and being able to stay connected to people WITH WHOM YOU DO NOT NORMALLY LIVE is critical. Please don’t read into this. Our marriage is just as fine as everyone else’s. Our family unit is just as fine as everyone else’s. But sometimes, you need a break.

(3) Adrien has become the stay at home Papa. His company furloughed him about two weeks ago. He really needs the space to run around with RJ, and to be alone when I’m back on duty.

(4) Family values. Eating together for meals. Reading together at bedtime. Having an uncle read to RJ during the day. OR play with him. OR talk to him. OR sing with him. We all need those interactions, including RJ’s uncles who own the home. They too need a break from each other.

Our family unit has never been the ‘typical.’ RJ has many, many, many aunts and uncles all over the world. But this new living arrangement is allowing his parents some additional space to breathe in this scary time.

I know not everyone reading this can just hop over and stay with friends, merging two families into one, even if temporarily.

But I implore you, please find a way to interact with others and love on each other. I’ve never, ever, ever, been the peace & love kind of lady. I’ve always been described more as The Ice Queen. There I said it. And I could write an entire post about how that’s not entirely true.

Here is what IS true –

We all need to take a big deep breath and look around at reality. People are getting really sick. But not just with the virus. Being lonely. Being bored. Anxious. Sad. Angry. Overwhelmed.
We need to focus on the shit we can control. Like what goes in our mouth. Or what comes out of it.
We need to think about others, not just ourselves and our immediate families.
Counting our blessings goes a heck of a lot further than bitching about our issues. Everybody has them right now. Everybody has ALWAYS had issues.

I believe we as humans have the ability to come out of this with some grace. A lot of grace actually. And a lot of lessons learned.

Until then, I think I’ll keep opining over here, while juggling the same shit everybody else is juggling.

Stay Strong, Stay Healthy. Remember, this shit won’t take us down.

Xo.

Month: March 2020

Work From Home Week 2