Mama stuff

Working from Home & Quarantined

April 1, 2020 / Mama stuff, Tips & Tricks / Comments Off

5 tips I’ve picked up along the way… so far

Are you home? Of course you are. Are you one of the lucky ones who is still working, while trying to juggle ‘other people’ during your workday? Probably. ( I say lucky because so many people are not working and not getting paid right now.)

When I first thought about doing this post I was going to tailor it more towards moms, but truthfully, I think anyone can benefit.

First, you know the cliche saying, “You can’t drink from an empty cup?” Its true. I wish I could say I’ve been eating well, meditating, running, and feel like a million bucks. That’d be a lie. But who the hell else is doing all of that? And furthermore, do these people do this when they’re not quarantining? (Also, I don’t think that’s a real word.)

I will say, tip #1 – set an alarm and get your butt out of bed and do something for yourself. I’m no doctor, but even if it’s 10 minutes without someone large or small calling your name, with a tizzy in hand, or a coffee, or simply to stare at the ceiling sans interruption, it’s a great way to start the day. You can run through your to do list of the day, or even write it down. Or brush you damn teeth in peace. Or just enjoy the silence before the storm.

Tip #2 – create a schedule. Delineate between PERSONAL time & WORK time. And stick to it, hard. I mean like you just got the last nail appointment before the apocalypse hit and you knew you’d be stranded for weeks. (True story)

* Yes, sometimes things come up. Those are exceptions to the rule, not the rule *

Normally, when commuting into the office in NYC my day goes a little something like this :

5:30 Up / Shower / Get Dressed / Makeup / Journal
7:30 Walk to subway / Call a friend / Commute / Read (I really want to say 7:00, but that never happens)
8:30 In the office
6:00 Leave the office
7:00 Home & Family Stuff
9:30 / 10:00 Turn into a Pumpkin AKA go to bed

So what about on quarantine?

6:30 Up / Tizzy / Talk to RJ / Journal / Read / Talk to Family
8:00 / 8:30 Work
6:00 Done Working / Family Time / Try & get RJ to bed at a reasonable time
9:30 / 10:00 Turn into a Pumpkin AKA go to bed

I am not 100% this is a truthful stat. But it is funny.

Why is this so important? Because if you’re intentional with where you will spend your day, you’ll be more productive. That’s not to say you can’t schedule laundry, walks, jumping jacks, lunch, snack time, even nap time. But if you don’t, you’ll end up most likely on back to back calls, not doing actual work, and stressed about family time. Plus, multi-tasking doesn’t work. (I’m always devastated when I realize this time and time again.)

Tip #3 – if you have tiny people, and your situation allows, separate Mom & Business time. The main reason refers to Tip #2. If we try and multi-task in both roles, we will not feel productive in either. That tends to lead to feelings of less than, unproductive, anxiety…etc…etc…etc… This also goes for individual & wife/gf/friend/daughter time.

Tip #4 – plan to get up out of your seat. No seriously. The main reason I’m posting this today is because I’ve barely moved. Its 6:22 pm and I’ve done 3839 steps. I have a shit ton of steps before Pumpkin time. And if I’m in this situation, I know many others are, too. Why did this happen? I didn’t plan it last night in my schedule.

Tip #5 – ask for help if you need it. Out of this shitty situation came my husband becoming a stay-at-home Papa. (He’s French, they don’t do Daddy. They do Papa. An argument I lost around the 1st trimester) Truthfully, he’s been a huge help. Prior to this quarantine I always hesitated to ask for help. Nothing he did, more me feeling inadequate if I couldn’t do it all.

We can’t do it all. There are only 24 hours in a day. And I’ve quickly learned over the last two weeks that getting help is (a) ok and (b) makes you feel so.much.better. Please don’t try and do it all. You’ll run yourself ragged, and at this point you may already be struggling to shower and put on a bra on the daily. Let’s not make matters worse.

I hope these helped a little bit. And if they haven’t helped your productivity, I certainly hope you were at least able to chuckle a little. My dad used to always say,

As long as you keep laughing, it will all be ok.

Stay Safe, Stay Healthy.

Why did I start a 3rd blog?

November 30, 2018 / Mama stuff / Comments Off

So here’s the honest truth, I love learning new things and then talking about it. The 1st blog was supposed to be about me, and it was, and it flopped (it also didn’t receive the dedication it deserved). The 2nd blog was about traveling in Paris & NYC, in English and French, and my girlfriend and I just didn’t keep it up.

Image result for learning
This blog, well, it’s intended to share things I’m learning, to help you in any way I can. Yes, I need to be more diligent. Yes, I need to realize that nobody thinks I’m a guru, so I don’t need to worry what others think. Yes, I can add tid bits and not overthink it, while knowing my high school History teacher, Mrs. Vannozzi, isn’t going to read it and give me a D+.

Here’s something else I’ve learned, I need a niche. That’s what makes a great blog, right? Well sh*t. I know a little bit about a lot. And always read a lot about a lot. And I talk, a lot.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, shoes and outdoor

So here’s my promise to you – right now it may seem all over the place as I get my hands dirty and try to
figure out what I’m doing, and how I’m doing it.

Sooner rather than later you’ll be getting streamlined information and opinions. Sound good?

Here’s my ask of you – if I write about something you really love, want to hear more of, or really despise,
can you tell me?

Stickk – Goal Setting Accountability

October 18, 2018 / Lifestyle, Mama stuff, Tips & Tricks / Comments Off

Ever set a goal you didnt achieve? Dont lie. I’m sure there are equal number of NYE resolutions to years you’ve lived. We’ve all been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. I know I have and I am more than happy to admit it.

We only grow by acknowledging our mistakes/life lessons and growing from them and learning the lessons. If you’re still adamant you have never failed at any goal you set, please take your hand, put it on your computer mouse, move towards the top right corner of the screen, and ‘x’ out this page. We are done here.

For those of you living on planet Earth with me, lets move forward.

Did you notice my husband hasn’t actually responded to be my referee? I doubt he even opened the email

My goals are always related to one of the following –

Exercise
Weight/Weight Loss
Financial
Work
Business

Which is what bring me to the homerun of goal setting accountability – Stickk.com

I recently learned about this app and decided I had to give it a try. Accountability is key to keeping on track with your goals. Its almost like, if a tree falls over in the woods and nobody hears it, did it happen? Or as my father always asked, “Do bears sh*t in the woods? Have you ever seen one do it?” (You’d have to have known him to see his humor)

With Stickk you create an account. Input your goal. Decide the length of your goal. And then, le pièce de résistance, you decide how the app is going to hold you accountable. On your honor? (So back to the bear in the woods bit) Or financially? You can set a certain amount that Stickk will take out of your bank account if you dont hit the goal. It can go to your anti-charity. AKA, dont hit the goal – donate to your least favorite charity available in their dropdown of options.

You also have the option to request a Referee. I requested my husband. If you look closely, you’ll notice he hasn’t responded yet – not for lack of my trying. Hopefully soon because there is a point to a referee… they’re here to keep you honest. Get one. And get one who answers/reads their emails 😉

Both of my starter goals run over a 26 week period. So, if I miss hitting a goal one week, I owe $20 to my anti-charity.

We know goals have to be SMART – otherwise, they’re pipe dreams. If I want to lose one pound a week, over the next 26 weeks, I have t Image result for goal setting o eat properly, according to a lifestyle change (more later on that). I also need to exercise. I set a goal of (4) days of exercise per week. If I dont achieve either or both, each week, $40 go to my anti-charity.

So far I’ve made it a week. My coach suggested this to me last Monday, and challenged me to download the app and setup 2 goals the same day.

So today, I challenge you to do the same.

download the app
setup 2 goals

Dont wait for the “right” time. There isnt one. Dont wait for some “other” sign that its time to get your sh*t together. Instead of waiting for NYE, or the next full moon, or the next time you’ve made a full rotation around the sun – just do it. Use me as your not so suttle nudge to just get. it. together. I mean this with love and kindness – get. it. together. For you to achieve a goal, your mind has to believe it is moving from a place of pain to a place of pleasure. (There is science behind this, I swear I’m not making this up) So, if you choose your anti-charity, the pleasure is work towards the goal or the pain of donating to your least favorite charity is the outcome.

I’m not perfect, nor am I pretending to be. But here is the thing, nobody is. Maybe I’ll end up donating a few times during the 26 weeks. Hopefully not. Because my hatred for this charity far outweighs my desire to skip a day of working out or eat like a garbage disposal.

If you sign up, let me know! I’d love to hear how Stickk is working

Xo,

Megan

Drunk Yoga

April 5, 2018 / Lifestyle, Mama stuff / Comments Off

So before you all think I’ve completely lost my mind… well, you’d have to believe I am not crazy first so that’s a moot point.

Recently I’ve been feeling like I haven’t been doing much for me. Between work + my side hustle + family + house stuff + life in general, getting out on my own hasn’t been a huge priority. Which needs to change.

So, I started yesterday. I signed up for a workout class with a friend. And we went to drunk yoga. It was AMAZING! We paid $35 to go to Drexler’s in the city, have a couple glasses of wine, make new friends and do yoga.

We were about 12 people in the class. Eli, our instructor, was so friendly and of course knowledgeable. Her story is so interesting and it goes like this… back in the Fall she was out with a friend at another bar talking to the owner about yoga. The owner said he couldn’t touch his toes unless he was drunk. She suggested they do some yoga right then and there, and they did. Eli asked the owner if she could host a few drunk yoga classes in his bar. He obliged. It started out slow. And now she is essentially a NYC phenomenon.

Heres why I loved the class.

1- I almost never workout and didn’t feel like a complete loser.

2- The instructions were easy to follow

3- There were fun rules that if not followed one must take a sip from one’s wine glass.

4- All attendees were super friendly, non judgey, and there to have fun.

5- I had a blast with a friend and made new friends.

6- I was away from home. And as much as I love home, it was great to be out doing something for myself.

Sometimes we all forget to take time for ourselves. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. It’s necessary. We can’t be our best selves if we are constantly going, going, going and doing for others. It’s just not possible.

Thank you Eli for an amazing evening. I’m sure you will never know just how special it felt to be out, albeit in the rain, doing something for me. It made returning home last night all the more fulfilling.

If you’re ever in NYC check out Drunk Yoga. Check her out @dodrunkyoga.

Cheers from one Mama to you all!

love,

Getting it all done and Being Present

March 29, 2018 / Mama stuff, Tips & Tricks / Comments Off

So I recently joined a bunch of Mom groups on Facebook. They’re all lovely in ways, and downright depressing in others. I’ll admit.

Many mornings I wake up and love seeing posts from new Mamas who joined the groups. They’re filled with laughter, and babies/kiddos, and joy. They’re also filled with dark under eye circles, crazy looking hair, sometimes frazzled clothes, sometimes dirty clothes, and smiling babies/kiddos. I can relate. 100%.

Take this morning for example, little man woke up at 2am crying. Normally we would put the pacifier back in his mouth (gross, I know. But I learned they help reduce the chance of SIDS* and being me, that’s on my list of things to avoid) and he would go back to sleep. Done. But this week Nana is staying over. She currently sleeps in the nursery with him on a cot (don’t ask). So poor Nana hears RJ crying and since she can’t find the pacifier picks him up. WHAAAAT?! NOOOO!!!!! Once you lean down, extend arms, wrap hands under and around tiny armpits, it’s over. Done. He is AWAKE. And he has WON. So RJ won. As he continued screaming the hubby and I got up, checked on Nana and RJ, made a bottle, went back to bed. cool. Its only 2:15. But now, we have to fall back to sleep amidst the 876,476,532,567 things flying in my head about what I need to get done TODAY. Before bed TODAY. And I’m still in bed from yesterday/last night. WTF?! Anyone relate to this sh*t?

So the alarm goes off at 5:30 for hubby to get up… and said alarm wakes up tiny human… BUT I DON’T HAVE TO GET UP UNTIL 6… And so at 6:05 I’m up, angry, tired, annoyed, and quite frankly, feeling completely put out that yet again the hubby gets to saunter off to work and I’m stuck dealing with the tiny human and trying to get my butt out the door. I have a tight schedule. My mornings are meant to be filled with “me” time where I don’t talk to anybody, I journal, I get ready for the office, and I most assuredly don’t get interrupted.

But I have a tiny human… and if you’re reading this you probably have a tiny human too… and this morning I read a post from a Mama who was talking about feeling completely overwhelmed with her life, feeling as though she never REALLY gets anything accomplished, and feels as though she isn’t really present in whatever the h*ll it is she is supposed to be doing. Giiiiiirrrrrlllll, I almost forgot to brush my teeth because I was dealing with a full diaper and trying to get my non washed hair into a bun that didn’t look like a dirty, hot mess. I’m with you.

Here’s the thing – so many of the other Mamas feel the same. So do I sometimes. Often, I walk in the door from work and I am bombarded by people talking to me. I honestly just smile, answer whatever “urgent” questions these people have, and use washing my hands as an excuse to get away. I also live in NYC and the subway is downright filthy and I don’t want to touch my tiny human with grimy subway hands, even if he is equally as gross since he crawls and drools and spits up and wears his food more than he ingests it. But I hide and breathe. To refocus on job #2, because let’s face it, being a mom + wife + daughter + friend is also a job. These are job(s) we love, but they’re jobs.

So my wish today is to offer some tid bits that have helped me so far in my short time as a Mama (but intermediate term as a wife and long term multi tasker) –

1- If you are also in a bunch of mom groups, or groups with other humans in general, while sympathizing with the original person who posted is lovely, let’s not all sit around and talk sh*t about our lives. I get it, you’re tired, the cat threw up, the kid/baby cried, the in laws are pains in your buttocks, you didn’t get that PowerPoint done exactly the way you want… whatever… offer actual support. Tips. Tricks. Ideas. Book titles. I can completely relate to all of these Mamas and in so many ways, but I want to HELP. Isn’t that the point of being in a group with other humans? Add value. Offer solutions.
2- If you’re specifically feeling overwhelmed with the 876,476,532,567 tasks swirling around in your head – stop. the. swirling. – get a notebook. Find the prettiest. Sparkliest. Loveliest. Most uplifting notebook you can find. Get a Sharpie marker. Write HEAD DUMP across the top cover. I learned this kick ass technique when listening to Mel Robbins’ book, The 5 Second Rule. Here are the steps :
a. Open book
b. Date page
c. Start writing each and every thing that comes to mind. Feed family. Call hairdresser. Call pediatrician. Manicure. Shower. Read. Journal. Meditate. Tell your partner you love them.

Whatever you need to accomplish gets written down. Don’t overthink it. Don’t judge yourself. Just write it down.

3- Now prioritize. You can put a star for today. 2 for tomorrow. 3 for later. X for never actually going to do. However you want to code your list, do it.
4- Now take a step back and double check your starred items for today. Can you realistically complete them all today? If yes, then highlight them all. If no, highlight the ones you can realistically complete today.

Now you can choose to use this notebook as your to do list if that’s easier. For me, it all goes in the same notebook. Literally. So I have my pages labeled like this – 3/29/18 Personal and then another page 3/29/18 Work (for my day job/side hustle)

For the Mama(s) who feel like they are never fully present, write that in your damn list. Be Present With Family. Be Present At Work. Heck, I write down, Hug Adrien. Tell Adrien “thank you.” Not because I don’t want to hug him and not because I am not grateful for what he does. I write it down because it reminds me to actually act on those feelings. I’m a list maker. I love crossing off sh*t. I have a side hustle – you better believe I write down what needs to get done and try my hardest to be sure it gets done too.

Here is one other thing – write down at least 1 thing for yourself. Make it a starred item. I don’t care if its pluck your eyebrows, put on lipstick, do a whitening treatment for your teeth or freaking hide in the car and read for 30 minutes. Put it in there. Every. Damn. Day. Why? Because if you refuse to take the time for yourself this vicious hamster wheel of never being present will continue.

Here are some non-negotiables for myself that go in every. damn. day.
– Journal (best thing in the last 24 hours, 10 reasons I’m grateful, Affirmations)
– Read 30 minutes
– Listen 30 minutes (some kind of uplifting, intelligent, educational audio)
– Make someone smile
– Remember to say I love you
– Remember to say thank you

Here are some non-negotiables for myself that go in pretty frequently
– Nails
– Hair
– Call xyz (input friend/relative/client/acquaintance)
– Walk 30 minutes
– Join a workout class (this tends to not get done. I’m not proud, but I am honest)
– Join a group (I want to make more friends in my neighborhood. I joined a Book Club most recently, read 75% of the book, and then RJ & my husband needed me the night of the meeting. Girly Book Club I’m coming for you in April!)
– Check budget (I’m totally crazy about making sure our finances are in order and there are NO surprises)

Here’s the thing ladies… we can’t get it all done in one day. But we can take small steps each day. We can be a little more present and get a little more done when using the right tools. But if it means completely sacrificing yourself for “the cause” of being a mom + wife/girlfriend/partner + career woman + daughter + sister + friend than you’re failing. Big time. Hugely. None of the people who need you want you at 50%. They want you at 100%. Probably more like 150%. And if we are so frazzled that we really don’t give a you know what, then we are serving nobody. Write it all out. Prioritize. Take time for you. Once you get a system in place to ease the crazy in your mind (albeit justified crazy) you’ll be more present. I promise.

One last thing – it takes 21 days to make anything a habit. Please don’t tell me it doesn’t work if you’ve tried for 2 days. It’s a 15 minute activity. Pretend you have a stomach ache in the morning, lock yourself in your bathroom, and take 15 minutes to give this a try. Then come tell me it doesn’t work after your feet wake up from sitting on the loo for 15 minutes – 21 days from when you start.

Love,
M